Mai pen Rie

One essential phrase in Thai I have kept in the back of my head on the trip from Samui to BKK is 'Mai Pen Rie'. It means 'it's okay, never mind, doesn't matter'. A few days ago I had booked a VIP bus for the trip to Bangkok with a minivan pickup at my hotel in Samui. Simple, right? Minivan, airconbus, ferry, aircon bus. 18 hour trip for $30AUD. Cheap Cheap in terms of money but that's a lot of time spent journeying!

On Saturday I check out of the hotel at Samui and await the minivan that will take me to Na Thon Pier for the ferry to the mainland. Twenty minutes later, a taxi rocks up. Apparantly the mini van is busy today. Mai Pen Rie. The driver overtakes on the narrow, curvy, busy island road whenever he gets the chance. Even with oncoming traffic coming, apparantly that's a chance. It's at this time I think putting on my seatbelt is a good idea but despite it being a newish car, the buckle is missing. Mai Pen Rie. 30 minutes later, we take a turnoff, that's okay, we must be picking up someone else...turns out to be a family of 3 and their luggage. We can't fit them all in so we drive off for the taxi driver to hail another taxi down on the main road. This takes awhile. By the driver's continuous glancing at his watch, I start to think missing the ferry is a distinct possibility. Thankfully, we find a taxi for them and speed off to the ferry and I arrive in one piece. Bonus. About 30 of us and our luggage are squeezed onto a bus with fans and we wait on here for the 2 o'clock ferry to arrive. The ferry ride is okay, I feel a little odd, a little clammy and hope I'm not getting sick. Amuse myself for the almost 2 hour journey by falling asleep and by watching the crackling tv in the passenger's lounge. A 'Saturday Kitchen' style programme is on, then all of a sudden a Japanese Iron Chef-style programme comes on (dubbed in Thai). It's about croquettes, and every five seconds in between the Thai commentary, I hear the word croquette. 10 minutes into this one hour show I really feel like eating a croquette which is weird because I don't normally like them. Subliminal message 'croquette, croquette, croquette...'.

Depart the ferry and take the bus from the pier to the town of Surat Thani, another hour or so away. We suddenly pull to a stop on the side of the highway and I am the only one to be told to get off. The people around me are all taking trains or planes so this must be the bus station stop. Except it's not a bus station. Wait around for 5 minutes of so before being told to jump in the back of a taxi truck. We drive around for 10 minutes and the journey we take on back roads tells me I'm not headed for Surat Thani bus station. Really hoping at the time I haven't been done by a fake travel agent selling bus tickets to Bangkok, but again I override these thoughts with 'mai pen rie'. We stop at a little roadside cafe and I'm told to write my name and nationality down on a list of people going to BKK. At least I'm not alone, there's a group of Libyans here too. I've got about 3 hours to kill so eat some food, write this journal entry down in my notebook, beg Mum and Dad to entertain me by giving me a phonecall. All in all, the time passes quickly. Slowly, more people arrive and by 8pm, a gaudy double decker bus arrives and we all pile in. We watch 2 movies, the classy 'American Pie 4' and a film about the Mayan hill tribe that I didn't catch the name of. About 1.30am it starts to rain big time for the next couple of hours and I'm thankful the bus driver is relatively safe, a lot of these overnight runs are nailbiting affairs as the drivers often take methamphetimene to stay awake. About 2am wes stop for a meal break (you don't feel like eating at 2am? What!) and get chauffered under big umbrellas to the shed like structure at the fuel station. Like the fact we aren't stopping at a 7/11 which illuminate the roads here, there are just so many it's unbelievable. Don't like the fact they have a microphone blaring telling us about the different foods they have available. The Thai tones at 2am in the morning do not sound nice over a squeaky microphone.

We arrive into BKK only half an hour late and I'm at my hostel by 7am, ready for a shower and bed! The last 20 hours or so are why I would never recommend Thailand as a holiday destination for my parents. The logic here isn't the same as logic back home, things aren't as straightforward, perhaps. It would make my Dad's blood pressure rise and completely baffle my Mum. Mai Pen Rie!